The Difficulty of Loving Others

In John 13:34–35, Jesus gives us a profound command:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

It sounds simple, yet loving others can be one of the hardest things we’re called to do. Whether it's people we find naturally difficult — often jokingly called “extra grace required” individuals — or even those we genuinely care about, love isn’t always easy.

Why Is It So Hard to Love Others?

The answer lies in a three-letter word: sin.Our own sin and the sin in others often get in the way. By nature, humans are broken and self-centered. Left to ourselves, we’re more inclined to love ourselves than to love others. But Scripture reminds us that love isn’t self-seeking:

“Love is not self-seeking...” – 1 Corinthians 13:5“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3

Loving others means pushing back against our own selfish tendencies while also extending grace to others dealing with their own. That’s no small task.

Misunderstanding Love

Another barrier is our misunderstanding of what love truly is. We often associate love with warm feelings or emotional attraction. But biblical love — agape love — is not rooted in emotion; it is rooted in sacrifice and choice.

God didn’t love us because we were lovable. He loved us in our sin, at our worst:

“But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” – Romans 5:8“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15:13

Love, at its core, is action, not simply affection. It chooses sacrifice even when emotions don’t align.

We Can’t Love Without God

One of the most important truths about love is that we can’t do it in our own strength. Trying to manufacture loving feelings on our own often leads to burnout or hypocrisy — putting on a smile while hiding a cold heart. That’s not the love Jesus calls us to.

True, lasting love flows from our connection with God. The more we abide in Him, the more His Spirit enables us to love others as He does.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God... This is real love — not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins... If we love each other, God lives in us, and His love is brought to full expression in us.” – 1 John 4:7–12

Loving Others Reflects God’s Glory

When we love people — especially the difficult ones — we reflect the heart of God to the world. It’s not easy, and it’s not always rewarding in the moment. But it’s one of the clearest ways we live out our faith and reveal God’s love to others.

Sometimes, loving others means holding our tongue, offering help, showing patience, or making sacrifices even when it’s inconvenient. But in doing so, we invite God to work through us and in us.

In Closing: A Call to Love

Loving others is difficult — because we’re human. But it’s in that very difficulty that we come to understand just how deep and sacrificial God’s love for us truly is. And as we choose to love, not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s hard, we shine the light of Christ in a world that desperately needs it.

So today, and every day, let’s try — by God’s grace — a little more love.